A reader asks:
A friend from high school who I have known for 20 years asked me to be in her wedding. At the time, I was undergoing cancer treatments, but absolutely agreed to be part of the wedding, and bride was very accommodating with meetings and venue visits (doing non-chemo weeks so I would feel good).
I went to bridal expos with bride to help her find vendors, etc. all while in treatment.
The wedding party started out with three bridesmaids and MOH (her sister). One bridesmaid backed out in March. Not sure what the reasoning was, but we still made it work.
The MOH (sister) was unresponsive to texts from other bridesmaid and me. We did almost everything on our own. Her sister came to my house twice to discuss shower and details. Otherwise, other bridesmaids and I made all the decisions, etc.
Because I was home and not working at the time, I did volunteer to help do more things, because the bride was my friend and the other two ladies had families and kids.
I didn’t mind doing the extra, I wanted my friend to have the best day ever.
I was not able to make it to bachelorette party. It was rescheduled the week before to a date that I couldn’t make and I felt horrible. Bride told me not to worry about it. I was doing enough.
The Monday before the wedding, (wedding was five days away), the bride called me up to tell me that she would prefer I come as a guest and that I was not making her a priority. She also told me over the phone that she would give me some of the money back. I was in shock. But was glad to be getting some of what I had invested. Total, including dress, was around $800. The dress I could re-use and wear again as it was evening and not wedding(ish).
I had committed to the rehearsal on a Thursday night, but the bride knew I could not eat the food at the restaurant we were going so I told her not to count on me for food. Since health issues, my diet is very limited.
I had sent a copy of the receipts certified mail so she would know the things I spent money on. All shower related (venue, flowers, invitations, candy buffet, balloons) and the dress for the wedding. (I did not attend the wedding.)
I also emailed bride and wanted to resolve civilly and she said there was nothing to resolve and that she was not paying me anything.
Now I don’t know what I should (or can) do. Any advice is appreciated.