Category Archives: Advice

ARA: The bride ‘fired’ me as a bridesmaid right before the ‘I dos’

A reader asks:

bridesmaidA friend from high school who I have known for 20 years asked me to be in her wedding. At the time, I was undergoing cancer treatments, but absolutely agreed to be part of the wedding, and bride was very accommodating with meetings and venue visits (doing non-chemo weeks so I would feel good).

I went to bridal expos with bride to help her find vendors, etc. all while in treatment.

The wedding party started out with three bridesmaids and MOH (her sister). One bridesmaid backed out in March. Not sure what the reasoning was, but we still made it work. Continue reading

ARA: How do I best handle a second wedding?

A reader asks (via Facebook):

In 2010 my parents graciously hosted a beautiful wedding for me at what was then Dale Miller (now Taste) for about 250 family members and friends. Unfortunately, I was marrying an awful human being who was very verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. He ended up choking me on our wedding night so hard that his hands were bruised into my neck. I left that night. Continue reading

ARA: Looking for a place to get ready before my wedding

A reader asks (via Facebook):

I’m getting married near Albany, NY (the reception will be in Altamont and the ceremony location is still to-be-determined) and need somewhere to get ready before the wedding. A hotel suite would be ideal, but I’m open to other suggestions (bed & breakfast, inn, etc). It needs to be big enough for about 8 people to get hair & makeup done and get dressed, as well as relax and hang out before heading to the ceremony. Around the Albany, Guilderland, Latham, or Troy area would be preferable. Since the photographer will be there taking “getting ready pictures”, I’m looking for something that will photograph nicely (not too dark so preferably with windows and natural light, and not have out-dated/tacky decor).


ARA: Is it OK to compliment a member of the opposite sex?

A reader asks (via Facebook):

checking outIs it OK to compliment a member of the opposite sex with totally non romantic intention on their dress or a personal feature? Talking bank teller, flight attendant, and similar. What do women in particular feel comfortable with from someone they don’t know? Nice sweater? You have a great smile? Your eyes are a beautiful color? and similar.

Not sure where the limits are, knowing that they have clearly changed, even for coworkers, and there is no way to communicate that the compliment is being given purely to be nice.

ARA: I want to break up with my stylist

A reader asks:

I’m looking for recommendations for local hair salons in the area. I’d post on your (Facebook) wall … but I’d like to “break up” with my hair stylist by just not going there as we are friends. I read good things about Patsy’s Pinups and Townsend. Just want input from people who may know of other places.

ARA: Looking for a (specific type of) couples counselor

A reader asks:

I am looking for a couples counselor. I don’t want to post that in my own status, but want to ask specifically, has anyone (still together) found a relationship therapist to be effective? I am a concrete evidence type of person. I am looking for someone who will give homework, even actual worksheets to complete. I am not feeling heard and I think that if my issues were written on paper, it might make it clearer for my partner. I am sorry that it’s tmi… I just don’t know how else to save us.

ARA: What do I do with the nude photos I found?

A reader asks (via Facebook):

While cleaning the basement I found a personal photo album hidden on top of one of the ducts. It was a professional album, bound nicely and shot by a photographer. They are of the previous owner and I want to return them but I am concerned that she will be embarrassed since they are nude and semi nude photos. I believe they were taken for her (now ex) husband as they are themed (firefighter/military) and he was both.

I have met her (and her ex) a few times since they are friendly still with those in the neighborhood which is how I know it is her. I don’t want to throw them out (could get in the wrong hands and they aren’t mine to toss) but I also feel strange about telling her I found them. What should I do?